• Bekah Brewer

Christ Over Cancer

I've been meaning to write this post for about 2 weeks now, but I needed some space and time to process. Well, I finally got the time and the courage to write it. So, here it is, feelings and all.

Let’s all be real. Between the COVID-19 pandemic, murder hornets, race tensions, and so many other ripple effects of those things and others - there's been a LOT going on in the world. Sadly, much of 2020 has caused my heart to be weary. On top of the things going on in the world, there has also been a lot going on in my world as well.

Since January 2019: I have moved twice – not bad, but both stressful moves. My brother has been walking through a divorce. Both of my last living grandparents passed away which has altered family dynamics. My oldest aunt passed away from lymphoma, and the hard part was that we have been unable to honor her life due to corona restrictions. And now, as of the last few weeks, my mom has been diagnosed with a recurrence of cancer, now in a serious Stage 4 state – it is currently in her lungs, lymphatic system, and femur. She starts radiation next week.

I write this not to complain or to get pity, but instead to give you a little perspective and insight into my world. I don’t know about you, but my heart is tired, and I am longing for Heaven.

While many days recently my heart has been weary, it has at the same time also been hopeful and fixed on praise. My counselor and I mostly talk a lot about right now what it means to hold both joy and sorrow in a heart at the same time. We talk about how it is hard and messy being human. As a human, you can yearn for marriage, yet relish singleness. You can witness miracles, yet also be sad when God chooses not to heal. You can go on a first date the same day you hear that your mom has cancer. I’m learning that feelings in a day are not clear cut. Not one emotion marks a scenario – life is filled with many emotions, and that’s okay. But I’ve also had to learn day after day that while emotions can give you a temperature on your heart, they do NOT rule the day – faith must! Faith must prevail over feelings.

The best example from Scripture I know that illustrates this idea is in the testimony of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. In the book of Daniel, we see these three guys who were faithful to Yahweh – so sure of their faith, they were ready to die for their belief. King Nebuchadnezzar commands them to worship a false god and when they refuse, he turns up the fire 7 times hotter than usual.

I don’t know about you, but I can relate. It feels like the heat has been turned up 7 times hotter. Tension in the world. Tension in relationships. Tension in finances. Tension in bodies. Tension in creation. I feel the effects of the Fall all around me. And as a human in this scenario, it would have been easy for the three fellas to choose fear and worry. It would have been natural for any of us. But not for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego; instead, they chose faith in God. In chapter 3, we see them choose to bless their God amid the persecution and suffering– declaring that He is sovereign, powerful, and good. They choose to trust His judgment and His autonomy.

Specifically, the three say in Daniel 3:17-18, “If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to rescue us from the furnace of blazing fire…But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up!

Ever since I wrote a paper on this scene in college and discovered the depths of their declaration, I have tried to aim for this kind of “EVEN IF” faith. The three are essentially saying to the king, ‘We know who our God is! He is sovereign, good, and wise – and we trust Him to do what is right. Whatever He wills, we praise Him always!’

Spoiler alert: they were miraculously rescued! But the key thing to note here is that they said these words BEFORE they were rescued, not after. They declared in faith who God was and their trust in Him. They didn’t know the outcome, but they knew their God.

This is the kind of faith I want. The kind of faith that says no matter what comes – pandemic, financial strain, loneliness, cancer diagnosis, family tension, job stress, death, etc. – I will choose to trust and praise my God. So, here I am, aiming to have “even if” faith. And as I’ve told my team at GraceWorks and other close friends, tomorrow I might need you to hold me up. I might forget and I’ll need you to remind me who God is – no matter what comes.

And my prayer is that you are aiming to have “even if” faith too! And if you are struggling right now, find some people to remind you.

I know, we all get tired. For various reasons and seasons, this world makes us weary. It is NOT our final home, friends. But God is still good, still sovereign, and still wise. Keep choosing and fighting to trust Him. Put your final hope in Him alone. Choose Christ over chaotic feelings – every time. That’s the goal, ‘even if’ sort of faith that is anchored in the character and person of Yahweh.


Please note: If you would like to come alongside my family in any way during this season, you can view the page I recently set up to support my mom at:

Proceeds from this site will go to travel for my brother or I to go home (as needed), food for my parents, and any other kindnesses I can think of that will encourage my dear sweet momma during yet another trial.


Cancer is not king. CHRIST IS KING!


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